SURPRISE ME
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SURPRISE ME
Surprise du Jour
Title:
  Denominational Mattresses
Read:
  The other day we went mattress shopping. I was amazed at all the subtle differences in these rectangular couriers of sleep. You got your coil springs, your Futons, your feather beds, your Serta, your Simmons, your Sleep Number, your King Coil and your Coil King, your high-tech, space-foam, body-molding Posturpedic with plush, pillow-topped, posture-zoned, double-tempered 15-guage innersprings with hypo-allergenic fibers with a total torsion system of 184 and a 10-year warrantee. (Gasp.) Mattresses are a lot like religious denominations—it’s hard to tell the difference sometimes till you lie down on them. Even then it can be subtle. And once you fall asleep, the differences become almost inconsequential because, well, you’re sleeping, and you’re oblivious to the differences. And the point, really, is to sleep, not to pointlessly analyze the mattress. The purpose of a mattress is to be a vehicle of sleep. When denominations become more than a vehicle to God, we’ve got a problem. And the problem isn’t the denomination; it’s we the people who make up the denominations. God don’t let me be an arrogant spring in your mattress.
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